I don't know if it's a gift.
I don't want to assume things.
It seems that I have an ability to see certain people. I recognize things in them that I see in myself. I don't know what it is that I get. I thought maybe it was brokenness or sadness or an old spirit. I thought maybe it was the race that knows Joseph (Anne) or some kind of kindred spiritedness. But that doesn't work somehow. All people that I feel this connection with should have the connection with each other. While that works sometimes, most of the time it's a complete miss.
Take my new friend Ryan. It makes no sense that I should be his friend. In fact, when I met him I thought he would be annoying. By the second time I saw him, I had that point of recognition. Like he fits somehow into the puzzle of my heart. Annika has that same place in my heart, yet I don't think she really likes him that much. Why don't they connect with each other if I connect so well with both?
I feel like I have been given a new kid brother. Hanging out with Ryan feels like Jonathan (except that Ryan has never hit me in the head with a baseball bat). Maybe it's a bit of an ego thing for me. Maybe it's just really nice to have a boy around who will go for milkshakes and give dirty looks to sales ladies for me. Maybe I know that girls think he's cute. Maybe I just really like the attention. I don't know. I don't want to analyze this one. I get him. I don't feel like I have to be cool...or even clean around him. If this is just a phase, then so be it. I like having friends. I wish I had more of them.
speaking of friends...
I really like Jo. Sure, she's my boss and all, but I have fun with her. Again, it's that mysterious thing that I see her. That twinkle of recognition that draws me to certain people. I drank too much beer with her last night. I hope that we get to be good friends.
Funny how God knows these things. How we want to fit somewhere. And here I am. There is blessing in a broken heart. There is joy buried beneath. There is no formula. I am just learning that. So I thank God for these little stumblings across people..New and old. I am richly blessed, and I didn't ask for it. He just knows.

Well, it's mom day...I'm going back to sleep so that I not crankypants for her. I like my mom.