Yesterday I sat down and spoke with the fellow that I fancy. I need to come to grips with the fact that I am a shy girl. That in order to make friends, one must actually speak and smile and make eye contact. I am so tired of living in this shell. Anyway, he is really dreamy with his squinty eyes and dimples. He should ask me to the movies.


I have been thinking a lot about Tim. I hate that I am still thinking about him so much. Sometimes I forget about the whole business, and then it hits me like a wave. I don't know where to file this sort of anger and sadness. I want him to hurt. Every time I talk about it, I have to act like I'm all okay and stuff. But I'm not. It hurts a lot. Personal rejection is hard to take, and it makes you feel like shit. You wonder if it was because of the space between your teeth, or the length of your hair, or the cut of your shirt. You wonder if things would have been different if you flirted with him more.
This is all sounding so ridiculous.
I want to be alone....but not alone.

Lisa is coming tomorrow.
Sara is coming on Thursday.
Last Thursday was National Talk Like A Pirate Day, and I totally missed it.
Last Tuesday was Lisa's birthday, and I totally missed it too.
Today is Sunday I should have gone to church, but I'm going for 3.95 breakfast at the Big C instead.