There is a party going on upstairs. It is noisy, and I am wide awake. Perhaps I should go and make some friends. Naw, I'll just stay here and sit in front of the computer. It kinda sounds like a fun party. I don't like parties. Everytime I attend a party, I leave wondering if i have some kind of social anxiety disorder. I think that what it comes down to is that people frighten me. No seriously, I think that I am afraid of social situations. I hate having to be witty or pretty on command.
I think that i was hit on tonight at the show. I think, but then, these kinds of things don't happen to me. I don't mind really. Being the girl that the boys looked past was always okay with me. I never was one for much attention. Poor Anni is sick. She really feels like barfing. You would think that she was drinking tonight. Nothing but water. I feel badly for her. I mean, especially since there is this party going on upstairs. I think it's going to be a tough night for her.
I am glad that these neighbours are moving out this weekend. They can reak havoc on some other strangers. Actually, they are very nice people.
Drunk people are idiots, and are very rarely funny. I think my dad is the only person who is funnier when he has a few. For the most part, I am inclined to think that very nearly everyone is an idiot. And I'm most likely the biggest one of them, so i do have room to speak.
Okay....I am going to bed I think. Or at least try. Part of me is having fun listening in. It makes me feel like I'm eight years old when I used to sneak into the hallway at night to listen to what the grown-ups were talking about. Most of the people at the party are probably younger than me, yet they feel like grown-ups somehow. It makes me feel like I probably still have self-esteem issues to work out.

I have come to notice that i think less of people who make spelling and typing errors. I tend to think that they are relativley uneducated, and not that bright. However, i have also noticed that i make such mistakes. If i did not know it was me, i would quietly be commenting in my head how many mistakes my "blog" has. Perhaps i too, am uneducated and no that bright.
I am so quick to judge.
I have come to learn things about myself that are good and a little unnerving. Things that i feel, things that i wish, and things that are. I have opened the curtain into my soul, and have found a world unexplored. The thing is that it depends not just on me anymore. No, not since i've opened this up. Perhaps this is love, i don't know. For once i am thinking beyond myself and my present circumstances. I see a world beyond my musings. There is more out there than i first imagined.
I am 24, this fellow is my first technical "boyfriend". These feelings scare me. Most girls go through this when they are 16. I can't seem to get over how much i truly like this guy. I mean, i think about him a lot. I am so excited to get to know his heart. Sometimes i wonder if i am being a fool. I wonder if i am setting myself up for more heartache. But then i remember who i am and who he is and who God is. I know that i won't necissarily get my own way here. I know that there are more forces at work here than just me. Just as i have thr free will to make a decision in this, so does tim. Trust me, i have dealt with this before.
Our phone conversations are so short. I know that it can't be helped, and i really don't mind. I just long for a heart to heart chat. It feels like it's been so long. Long distances, and longe shifts, and phone cards. The letters are good though. We are able to expose our hearts bit by bit. That's what i like. I would like even more to hold his hand. Yeah, i can't get over how much i like him. It's nice, so nice that he likes me too. Thar he phones me on his days off from Nowheresville, Alberta. I like that he sets aside a part of his day to write part of his heart to me. I like that things that have been carried around are being exposed. Yhinga out in the open are good. I don't know how long i can do the long distance thing. We shall find out i suppose.

Imporve your life in just 21 easy steps.

1. Fill kettle with cool water.
2. Plug kettle into nearest electrical socket.
3. Open bag of bread and remove at least two slices. (depending on how hungry you are, you may need to remove more than two slices. The quantity is up to you.)
4. Insert slices of bread into toaster.
5. Choose toaster settings according to desired darkness of toast.
6. Press lever.
7. Choose tea from container. (go crazy with your choice here, absolutely any flaavour will be suitable)
8. Remove tea bag from package and place in favourite mug.
9. When kettle whistle blows, unplug kettle from wall.
10. Pour boiling water from kettle into mug (over tea bag).
11. Allow tea to steep for a few seconds or minutes, according to desired strength of flavour.
12. Add honey, and/or sugar, and/or cream. (or leave tea clear)
13. When toaster pops, remove toast from toaster and onto a plate.
14. Retrieve honey jar from cupboard.
15. With butter knife, spread honey on warm toast.
16. Set mug of tea, and plate of toast on kitchen table.
17. Find a blanket (the bed is a good place to look).
18. Wrap blanket around your own body.
19. Sit at kitchen table.
20. Press play on stereo (contents of cd player is depends on your musical taste. Lately, I have found the musical stylings of Tomte quite favourable. You may not know what the hell they're singing about about, but the "fah fah fah fah fah fah fah" bit is the absolute best music i have ever heard.)
21. Drink tea, eat toast, listen. (things are fine)

This works well with a friend.