crushes are crushes.
It's just that every once in a while you meet a man, and you want to see his insides. And you want him to see your insides.
Is that love?
Or is it just a supercrush?
Anyway, regardless of what the technical term might be, it's nice to have one.
It might seem silly to the common outsider, but it's a relief to obsess about boys (or A boy, depending on the day).
I was afraid that part of me got lost in the wash.
I sometimes struggle with embarrassment about feeling floaty feelings about guys. I have that grade 4 sense of shame (or whatever that is we learned at that age.)
This time, I have decided to afford myself the luxury of thinking nice things about this one.
I deserve a nice boy. I like to think lovely things sometimes. And fuck it if they're reciprocated or not. I have a half an hour now and then to daydream, and daydream, I will.
I found a Henri Nouwen book at the As Is.
I love that man.
He speaks my heart so many times.

A list...not A-list.

Things that I did today.
(like it matters)
1. hatched a moderately good idea.
2. ate nice cafe breakfast with ben and jen and nix.
3. watched Sex and the City movie.
4. shed a tear or two.
5. received free pizza.
6. had coffee with recently married friend and his new wife.
7. popcorn.
8. napped.
9. showered.
10. ate free pizza. well, half of it.
11. sat on the stoop of nix, and it was awesome.
12. met up with eric at cheaper show.
13. looked at art.
14. hugged a lot of people.
15. walked over cambie bridge.
16. ate cake and danced at kate's brithday party.
17. home.

good day.